shake it.

i just want to shake this feeling of something's wrong. 

i can't stand always worrying about what people think of me. People think it is easy for me to live my life always being afraid of trust, always being afraid of giving in, and always being afraid of what people are saying. It's not easy. You don't know what I've been through. I'm not trying to gain sympathy from anybody, I promise. I just wish people could understand that this trait is NOT something i asked for. This paranoid characteristic is not my friend, and quite frankly, i just want it to go away. 

second thought--

people are cruel. not just to me, but just in retrospect. i think people say things that they dont think are audible sometimes, but believe it or not, they are. there are people i know who thrive off of putting others down. they live vicariously through the evil remarks that they dont think someone will hear or someone will find out. we do. you people know how i am. i seek and search for these things to try to mend the problems that may be surfaced. but honestly, if you're talking shit just to hear yourself talk and for no other reason than to just say something about someone, then keep your mouth closed. if all you do is gab on and on about people, i promise you you will have a very difficult time with the future. i'm just so frustrated with people and their attitudes these days. we may not all like each other but for the love of God, if you absolutely have to say anything at all, say it in privacy. don't voice your opinion when they are sitting right in front of you. 

i'm sorry if this post was negative, i just hate seeing people being treated the way they are being treated. there are a few so called "friends" that i honestly just can not wait to get away from this summer because all they do is talk shit. RUDE. i love my friends, and yes there are some people i have to deal with that i dont get along with all the time. but that doesn't mean i go say stupid things that they can hear. it's just rude. 

anyway. i'm pumped for the summer and for charlie brown and new york and now the bahamas! SO ready to go. i love the new friends i've made as well as the old ones of course. i dont want anyone {with the exception of the people this post was aimed at} to become a stranger this summer. i really hope to see everyone. 

reality bites.

prom weekend was AMAZING!

our group kind of saved a life. then i got a citation which sucked. that cop was a douche bag who gets off to his badge. thats all i have to say. 

my back is burnt so i kind of want to punch something really hard. its at the itchy state so i hate myself right now. 

EWW the month of may just needs to be over. i have so much stuff due by the end of the month. my effing senior scrapbook is due in like five days...i've only done one page. i'm so busy and have no time. we want that. we want to take an extra chunk of time and set it aside but we can't do that because it's not possible. all we have is here and now and that is why procrastination feels so right.

procrastinate now. don't put it off.

peace and love

lauren

it's a marvelous memory...

prommmm tomorrow!

im pretty pumped i guess. there are certain people (certain person) i'd rather not deal with all weekend but i guess its the price i pay. 

anna is coming, so she'll keep me sanneeee!

plus sarah told me not to worry about it, so...i won't.

boys auditions are tomorrow as well. IF YOU'RE A SINGING BOY AND WANT TO AUDITION FOR CHARLIE BROWN...CALL ME..NOW!

we need boys so bad. otherwise its going to turn into freakin charlene brown. no one wants that crap. although we did think of transforming the boys names to girls names.

shut up, it was a last resort so dont judge.

i'm almost out of my meds. i should probably get that refilled so i dont want to be all sad soon. bump that noise. it's been a few months since i last slipped. i'm sorta proud of myself, especially after the crap i had to deal with on tuesday. go me.

sleep is necessary before the long weekend. i hope everyone's life is wonderful. live it.

peace and love,

lauren.

alright so now that we've established that girls are bitches, lets go ahead and throw out onto the table the fact that guys are douche bags. not all, but apparently the ones i go for.

the past fifteen or so hours have been shit and a half. i guess the new rule for dating is if you're dating one person, you can get back with your ex and remain exempt from telling them. 

wait...sorry. i thought for a second that my blog was bullshit.

this whole situation just sucks. im starting to lose faith in the male race. but would never in a million years go lesbian, so i guess i'll have to keep the faith and keep handing out chances.

i probably should've seen this coming. whatever.

im pumped for the weekend. and for charlie brown. you have no idea. i hope all is well in your life just to make up for mine.

p.s. sarah, i am tremendously flattered that you copied me and got a blog.

peace and love,

lauren

your eggs are from the forties!

i have a theory. one that is quite obvious and i'm sure that everyone knows. 

you're supposed to treat people the way you would like to be treated. 

basically, stop being bitches.

my first blog.

this set up seemed to be a bit more mature than the regular xanga set up, even if no one reads it any way, it's going to allow me to rant and rave however much i want. 

prom is next weekend. im stoked. please, no drama.

girls are bitches, though i knew this quite a long time ago.

we cast the girls of charlie brown yesterday, which was pretty exciting. we need some boys though.. the girls are as follows.

Lucy Van Pelt - Sarah Feye/US-Haven Martin

Peppermint Patty - Lauren Christlieb/US-Rachel

Snoopy - Allison Roche/US- Hannah Martin

if you're reading this and are a dude, let me know if you are interested, because we need boys and we're holding another audition next weekend.

i hope everyone's weekend was wonderful. i saw kanye west be a prissy diva and rhianna woop his ass in the performance contest. so my weekend was complete.

peace and love,

lauren